Communication
Skills
Good
communication skills prevent conflict or
destructive escalation. Many of us do not communicate well.
Sometimes our body language does not fit our verbal messages
creating a cognitive dissonance in the listener. We may
personalize issues. We may criticize people rather than actions,
behaviors, or situations.
Listening
effectively is the other half of good communication.
The most common deficiency is letting our mind race ahead of the
speaker's voice. We may use this speed difference to formulate
responses or defenses. Or we may allow our mind to wander on other
subjects and miss part of what is said. This is, at best,
frustrating for the speaker. It also leads to misunderstandings.
Team members must train their minds to focus on words and message
until the speaker finishes. Only then should they analyze and
formulate a response.
Problem
Solving
Problem
solving skills define a problem, gather information, analyze the
information, synthesize solutions, select the best solution, and
implement it. These activities occur in distinct steps and in an
orderly and structured way.
Without
good problem solving skills people jump to conclusions.
The conclusions that various people jump to are often wildly
different. Without a factual basis, the discussion turns to who is
"wrong" and who is "right" with an undertone of who is "OK"
or "Not OK". Problem solving avoids conflict with structure
and consensus.
Teams
can also bring problem solving directly to bear on a conflict.
They treat the conflict as a problem, gather information, analyze,
search for solutions, and implement. |
Other
Skills That Prevent Conflict
Other
team skills have a collateral effect of avoiding or mitigating
conflict. Time management prevents arguments about who does what
and when. Cross training prevents boredom and prevents conflict
over workloads. Facilitation controls meetings and reduces
frustration over wasted time.
Conflict
Resolution Skills
Intervention
occurs when parties to a conflict are confronted. In the mildest
form, a team member quietly and separately points out the
situation to one or more of the individuals involved. In the
strongest intervention the entire team confronts the conflicted
parties much as friends and relatives might confront an addict.
Feedback
is an effective conflict resolution technique. In feedback, one
individual confronts another in a structured setting with a
carefully crafted statement. A feedback statement goes like this:
"When
you...(Describe The Behavior)"
"I feel...(Describe Your Emotion)"
"Because...(Describe
The Reason For the Emotion)"
"What
do you think" (Wait
For Response)
An
example would be: "Jim, when you are late for meetings it
makes me angry because your tardiness wastes everyone's time and
prevents our team from conducting its business. What do you
think?"
The addressee of the feedback statement must then respond in a
structured way. A facilitator governs and controls the process.
Feedback
is powerful. It defuses anger and brings rationality to a
discussion. Feedback and Intervention are only two of many
conflict resolution techniques. |
Resolving
conflict constructively is the most critical of team skills.
Without this ability, the team cannot develop the trust and bonding that
allows moving from the Storming stage into peak performance. Conflict
resolution is not a stand-alone skill. There are specific techniques and
attitudes that are helpful, but conflict resolution interrelates with
other skills.
